The holiday season can bring up complex emotions for anyone grieving the death of someone important. While others may be celebrating, many people are navigating memories, changes in routine, and the absence of someone they deeply miss. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar and it doesn’t pause simply because it is December. If this season feels overwhelming, complicated, or different than it used to, you are not alone. Grief is a natural response to love and loss and it deserves space, compassion, and support.

The holidays don’t have to be perfect

We can feel pressure to create meaningful, joyful celebrations. Yet even when everything appears perfect on the outside, grief may still show up. Allow yourself to be present as you are, without expectations or self-judgment. Some days will feel heavier than others — that’s normal.

Be intentional and open to change

Traditions can bring comfort, but they can also feel painful when someone is missing. Ask yourself: What is the heart of this tradition? Connection? Faith? Memory? Generosity? Consider adapting old routines or creating new ones that reflect where you are now. Meaning can evolve over time.

Practice saying no

Grieving takes emotional, physical, and mental energy. If your schedule feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline invitations or step away from activities that feel too demanding this year. Prioritizing what matters most protects your energy and well-being.

Plan time for yourself

Quiet time, rest, reflection, or simply stepping away from a gathering can make a big difference. Scheduling breaks or building in slower days may help you cope when the season feels busy or emotionally charged.

Reach out for support

Grief can feel isolating, even when surrounded by others. While family and friends may be supportive, you may also benefit from connecting with trained grief support volunteers or professionals. Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, one-to-one grief support as well as group programs. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Make room for both grief and joy

It is common to feel complex emotions: sadness, gratitude, longing, laughter, love. Some people worry that enjoying the holidays means they are “moving on” or forgetting their loved one. Joy does not erase grief. Both feelings can co-exist, and both are valid.

Honour your loved one in meaningful ways

Finding gentle ways to remember your loved one can offer comfort. You might:

  • Cook a favourite recipe
  • Display a special ornament or keepsake
  • Light a candle
  • Share stories with people who are comfortable listening
  • Create a private ritual just for you

There is no right or wrong way to grieve someone you miss.

You are not alone

The holidays can be tender, painful, meaningful, or bittersweet, sometimes all at once. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the season. Consider visiting us for Celebrate A Life at Minter Country Garden or Thrifty Boutique, attend our Holiday Movie Matinee on December 12, or participating in our Coffee & Compassion Drop-In Grief Support Circle, December 15. You’ll be in good company.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.