The holidays don’t have to be perfect

We can feel pressure to create meaningful, joyful celebrations. Yet even when everything appears perfect on the outside, grief may still show up. Allow yourself to be present as you are, without expectations or self-judgment. Some days will feel heavier than others — that’s normal.

Be intentional and open to change

Traditions can bring comfort, but they can also feel painful when someone is missing. Ask yourself: What is the heart of this tradition? Connection? Faith? Memory? Generosity? Consider adapting old routines or creating new ones that reflect where you are now. Meaning can evolve over time.

Practice saying no

Grieving takes emotional, physical, and mental energy. If your schedule feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline invitations or step away from activities that feel too demanding this year. Prioritizing what matters most protects your energy and well-being.

Plan time for yourself

Quiet time, rest, reflection, or simply stepping away from a gathering can make a big difference. Scheduling breaks or building in slower days may help you cope when the season feels busy or emotionally charged.

Reach out for support

Grief can feel isolating, even when surrounded by others. While family and friends may be supportive, you may also benefit from connecting with trained grief support volunteers or professionals. Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, one-to-one grief support as well as group programs. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Make room for both grief and joy

It is common to feel complex emotions: sadness, gratitude, longing, laughter, love. Some people worry that enjoying the holidays means they are “moving on” or forgetting their loved one. Joy does not erase grief. Both feelings can co-exist, and both are valid.

Honour your loved one in meaningful ways

Finding gentle ways to remember your loved one can offer comfort. You might:

• Cook a favourite recipe
• Display a special ornament or keepsake
• Light a candle
• Share stories with people who are comfortable listening
• Create a private ritual just for you

There is no right or wrong way to grieve someone you miss.

You are not alone

The holidays can be tender, painful, meaningful, or bittersweet, sometimes all at once. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the season. Consider visiting us for Celebrate A Life at Minter Country Garden or Thrifty Boutique, attend our Holiday Movie Matinee on December 12, or participating in our Coffee & Compassion Drop-In Grief Support Circle, December 15. You’ll be in good company.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

This year’s theme, Remember. Reflect. Connect., encourages us all to:

• Remember those who have died and their impact on our lives.
• Reflect on the ways grief shapes us and fosters resilience.
• Connect with others to find understanding and comfort.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we are dedicated to supporting grieving adults, children, and families. Our programs offer safe spaces to explore emotions, share experiences, and build coping strategies. Professional staff offer guidance through the tangled processes of grief and loss that accompany dying and death. It does not matter when or how the death occurred, or how a person is connected to the death — anyone can benefit from this support. From one-to-one grief support to adult bereavement support groups to specialized child and youth programs, we strive to ensure everyone has access to compassionate care tailored to their unique needs.

Jennifer Dacre, Bereavement Services Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, emphasizes, “Grief is a personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be a solitary one. At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we believe in the power of community to help individuals navigate grief following the death of a loved one. By remembering the ones we’ve loved, reflecting on the lessons they’ve taught us, and connecting with others who share similar experiences, we create pathways to healing. Grief may feel isolating, but reaching out for support can transform that isolation into understanding, connection, and hope.”

Families often face the dual challenge of mourning their loved one’s death while supporting one another. Our resources help families communicate openly about grief, honour their loved ones, and find collective strength in their shared journey. This National Grief and Bereavement Day, we invite individuals and families to seek out community support and resources. Together, we can create a world where every grieving person feels seen, heard, and cared for. Let us “remember, reflect, and connect” to build a compassionate community where grief can be shared and supported.

If you or someone you know is grieving the death of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups, and workshops that are currently being offered. Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are provided free of cost thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow @ChilliwackHospice on Facebook and Instagram.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

Recognizing this significant day gives us an opportunity to share and normalize talking about grief, and to highlight resources that are available to those coping with loss. Grief is the natural and normal response to loss, however grief is often misunderstood. It has no timeline, and it shows up differently for each person. Grief isn’t limited to the loss of a person; we can all experience grief following the loss of a pet, a relationship, or our health and mobility.

Although an individual experience, grieving does not need to be done alone. In their Grief and Bereavement Day campaign, the Canadian Hospice and Palliative Care Association offers several suggestions for ways in which we can support someone who is navigating grief and loss. These include letting them know you’re thinking of them; not assuming what they want or need; acknowledging their loss; and offering practical assistance such as picking up groceries or helping with chores around the house if permitted.

“When connecting with a grieving person, remember you cannot fix their grief,” says Jennifer Dacre, Palliative and Bereavement Services Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society. “You can, however, walk alongside them on their grief journey with empathy and compassion. Sometimes words aren’t required, but a listening ear is most appreciated.”

Chilliwack Hospice Society offers one-to-one grief support, free of charge, to adults, youth, and children in Chilliwack and the surrounding communities. Additionally, we facilitate many grief support groups throughout the year, including our First Step Grief Support Group and others dedicated to pet loss, sibling loss, traumatic loss, and grieving families.

Tomorrow night, Wednesday, November 22, starting at 6:00pm, Chilliwack Hospice Society will host our Annual Memorial Celebration at Vineyard Community Centre, located at 45892 Wellington Avenue. A time of reflection and support in the company of others whose loved one has died, the Annual Memorial Celebration is for everyone who is grieving. This year’s program will focus on creative expressions of grief. Guests are asked to please bring a framed photo of their loved one with them. Light refreshments will be served.

Beginning December 8, look for Celebrate a Life trees at Minter Country Garden and Thrifty Boutique. Celebrate A Life is an opportunity to write a message that’s on your heart onto a personalized butterfly in memory of a loved one on our trees of celebration. Hanging a butterfly on the tree has become a cherished ritual during the holiday season for many bereaved people in our community.

To learn more about the grief support programs and services available at Chilliwack Hospice Society, or to donate in honour of National Grief and Bereavement Day, please call (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org

The goals of this significant day are to raise awareness of the impact of death on children and the benefits of support, to increase understanding of the unique needs of grieving children, and to make resources available to those who are grieving or supporting a young person who is.

According to the Canadian Alliance for Grieving Children and Youth, one in 14 children in Canada will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18 years of age. Countless more will cope with the loss of a close grandparent, friend, or pet. Childhood bereavement can have a substantial impact on a child’s emotional and cognitive development as they re-grieve meaningful losses again and again with every significant milestone. Without adequate support, children may face mental health challenges and difficulties coping with death in the future.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, author of Companioning The Grieving Child: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers, said that “any child that is old enough to love is old enough to mourn.” Children grieve differently than adults, jumping in and out of their grief like puddles. Sadly, grieving children often feel alone, misunderstood, and different than their classmates. As a result, they end up masking their feelings and prolonging their pain. Every school and community have children who have experienced some type of loss.

On Children’s Grief Awareness Day, we recognize the needs of grieving children in our community and advocate for their support all year long. The importance of providing children with information on grief, as well as normalizing their responses, and encouraging them to share their thoughts and feelings, could not be more evident. We must seek to create spaces where children can feel secure in expressing their grief and genuinely mourn.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, our goal is to provide free, low-barrier grief support services through a variety of programs for children and youth. We accommodate individual needs through one-to-one support, community outreach, in-school support, group support, family activities, and equine connections.

Chilliwack Hospice Society cares for the whole family. In this new video, Child and Youth Program Manager, Franceska Hills, offers a glimpse into the important work she does to support our youngest clients. Listen as some of our kids and their grownups share their personal experiences with Chilliwack Hospice Society.

To learn more about the Child and Youth Program at Chilliwack Hospice Society or to donate in honour of Children’s Grief Awareness Day, please call (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org

References
Canadian Alliance for Children’s Grief. Children’s Grief Awareness Day. n.d. 10 November 2023. <https://www.grievingchildrencanada.org/index.php/children-s-grief-awareness-day>.

Caring Foundation. About. 2023. 10 November 2023. <https://www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org/cgad2/about/index.shtml>.

The Children’s Grief Foundation of Canada. Who We Are. 2023. 10 November 2023. <https://childrensgrieffoundation.org/#about>.

A safe, supportive space for displaced Ukrainians who now call Chilliwack home has been created at Chilliwack Hospice Society. The group will meet monthly to assist those affected by the war to process their complicated grief and losses. One-to-one support is also available by appointment for those participating in the group and those who aren’t comfortable with the group setting. In addition to a grief support group dedicated to these newcomers to Chilliwack, Hospice Society staff will be facilitating three other grief support groups during the winter months.

First Step Grief Support Group begins February 7 and meets weekly for eight weeks. The group is best suited those who have experienced the death of a loved one in the past six months or year; offering mutual support and socialization for bereaved people wanting the share the journey into change and renewal. It is well-established that grief has no timeline. As such, some First Step group members may choose to begin participating weeks following the death of their loved one. In turn, others may find themselves open to the benefits of participating in a grief support group years later.  A Traumatic Loss Support Group will also begin meeting in February with the exact dates to be decided. The content of this group’s meetings is specifically developed for those who have experienced the death of a loved one due to homicide, suicide, drug poisoning, workplace accident, or sudden illness.

Chilliwack Hospice Society recognizes that significant loss isn’t limited to human connections. Beginning February 22, a supportive space will be created for those grieving the death of a beloved pet. The staff-led grief support group will meet once weekly for four weeks and include participation from the Society’s university practicum students. Students of social work, counselling psychology, child and youth care, and other fields offer a wonderful exchange of knowledge and experience for staff, volunteers, clients, and students alike, and will be contributing to grief support groups – First Step, Traumatic Loss, and Grieving the Death of a Pet.

“In addition to our grief support groups, staff and volunteers offer many opportunities for one-to-one support and complementary therapies to assist members of our community through the grieving process,” Lucy Fraser, director of programs, says. “Informal connections with other bereaved individuals and mutual support can be found in our Relaxation Program, Supportive Walking Group, and Gentle Chair Yoga sessions, as well as our many volunteer opportunities.”

As part of the organization’s community outreach and education programs, a new matinée series of ‘Movies That Move You’ will be shown once monthly, starting with Collateral Beauty on January 24. Each movie has been selected for its themes of grief and loss and are suitable for adults’ viewing and discussion. Advance Care Planning workshops have also been well-received by the community and will continue in 2023 with the next two-part session starting February 16. The writing prompts, worksheets, and group discussion help individuals or their parents develop an Advance Care Plan, including indicating one’s beliefs, values, and wishes, Temporary Substitute Decision Maker, Representation Agreement, and Advance Directive.

Exemplifying the real impact Hospice Society programs and services are having on the Chilliwack community, was once again named a finalist for Non-Profit of the Year by the Chilliwack Chamber of Commerce Business Excellence Awards. Also in December, Child & Youth Program Manager Franceska Hills was recognized by Murray Mazda as a ‘Local Community Legend’ and received $2,500 in arts supplies toward the Society’s children’s programs.

“Our staff and volunteers at Chilliwack Hospice Society, with support from our dedicated board of directors, continues to build our programming and expand our outreach efforts; providing heartfelt support to more adults, teens, and children who are dying or grieving,” Executive Director Sue Knott says. “We are incredibly grateful for the continued benevolence of individual donors, sponsors, and grants which enable us to meet the increasing demand for our services from the community.”

If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups and workshops that are currently being offered. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow Chilliwack Hospice Society on Facebook and Instagram.