Although this tragedy occurred outside our community, we recognize that news of a school shooting can affect people deeply, including children, youth and adults here at home. Events like this can bring forward fear, grief, anger and confusion. These reactions are natural. It is important that we speak openly, listen with care, and make space for one another’s feelings.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we walk alongside individuals and families who are grieving the death of someone they love. In moments of sudden and traumatic death, compassionate, steady support matters. We encourage families to check in with one another, to have age-appropriate conversations with children, and to reassure them about their safety while acknowledging the reality of what has happened.

If you or someone you know needs additional support, the following resources are available:

• 310-Mental Health Support: 310-6789 (no area code required in B.C.)
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868
• Foundry BC: FoundryBC.ca

In times of tragedy, communities show their strength through compassion, presence and care. We stand in solidarity with the people of Tumbler Ridge and hold space for all who are grieving, injured or impacted by this horrific act.

The holidays don’t have to be perfect

We can feel pressure to create meaningful, joyful celebrations. Yet even when everything appears perfect on the outside, grief may still show up. Allow yourself to be present as you are, without expectations or self-judgment. Some days will feel heavier than others — that’s normal.

Be intentional and open to change

Traditions can bring comfort, but they can also feel painful when someone is missing. Ask yourself: What is the heart of this tradition? Connection? Faith? Memory? Generosity? Consider adapting old routines or creating new ones that reflect where you are now. Meaning can evolve over time.

Practice saying no

Grieving takes emotional, physical, and mental energy. If your schedule feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline invitations or step away from activities that feel too demanding this year. Prioritizing what matters most protects your energy and well-being.

Plan time for yourself

Quiet time, rest, reflection, or simply stepping away from a gathering can make a big difference. Scheduling breaks or building in slower days may help you cope when the season feels busy or emotionally charged.

Reach out for support

Grief can feel isolating, even when surrounded by others. While family and friends may be supportive, you may also benefit from connecting with trained grief support volunteers or professionals. Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, one-to-one grief support as well as group programs. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Make room for both grief and joy

It is common to feel complex emotions: sadness, gratitude, longing, laughter, love. Some people worry that enjoying the holidays means they are “moving on” or forgetting their loved one. Joy does not erase grief. Both feelings can co-exist, and both are valid.

Honour your loved one in meaningful ways

Finding gentle ways to remember your loved one can offer comfort. You might:

• Cook a favourite recipe
• Display a special ornament or keepsake
• Light a candle
• Share stories with people who are comfortable listening
• Create a private ritual just for you

There is no right or wrong way to grieve someone you miss.

You are not alone

The holidays can be tender, painful, meaningful, or bittersweet, sometimes all at once. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the season. Consider visiting us for Celebrate A Life at Minter Country Garden or Thrifty Boutique, attend our Holiday Movie Matinee on December 12, or participating in our Coffee & Compassion Drop-In Grief Support Circle, December 15. You’ll be in good company.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

Sibling grief is one form of disenfranchised grief, the kind of grief that society too often fails to acknowledge or validate. Siblings are sometimes called “the forgotten mourners,” as their loss can be overshadowed by attention given to parents, partners, or children of the deceased. But the bond between siblings is one of the most significant and enduring relationships in life and the grief that comes from its loss can last a lifetime.

“Sibling grief is one of the least acknowledged forms of grief, despite siblings often being our longest and most formative relationships. Greater awareness through publications and social media in the realm of grief education and the need for establishing peer grief groups are essential supports needed for navigating a sibling’s unique and enduring bereavement.”
— Earla Legault, co-author of Living with Sibling Grief: Imagining a Way Forward, and Chilliwack Hospice Society volunteer

Earla Legault

Why sibling grief matters

From childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, sibling relationships help shape our sense of identity. They are our first companions and rivals, our teachers and protectors, and the people who know our history from the beginning. Many siblings share decades of life together, often more time than with anyone else. Research has shown that siblings spend up to a third of their early years together, more than with parents, teachers, or friends.

Despite the closeness of this bond, the grief that follows a sibling’s death is rarely recognized for its depth or duration. Our culture tends to give less acknowledgement to sibling relationships, even though they are nearly universal and profoundly formative. When a sibling dies, it can feel as though part of one’s own identity is gone — a missing chapter in the story of one’s life.

What sibling grievers wish others knew

There is no hierarchy in grief. While the death of a sibling may be viewed by some as “lesser” than other losses, the pain can be immense. Many adults assume their brothers or sisters will always be there, a steady presence through milestones and change. When that expectation is suddenly broken, the result can be deep sorrow, disorientation, and even guilt for surviving.

Siblings who are grieving often need to self-advocate for their emotional needs. At home, in friendships, and at work, they may find themselves setting boundaries or seeking understanding in environments where their loss is not easily recognized. Taking time for rest, creative expression, or quiet reflection can help create space for healing.

How to support someone grieving a sibling

Support begins with simple acknowledgement. Recognize that the death of a sibling leaves a lifelong impact — it’s not something to “get over” or “move on from.” Grief doesn’t end; it changes shape over time.

Offering empathy rather than advice is one of the most meaningful ways to help. Invite your friend or colleague to talk about their sibling, share stories, or find ways to keep their memory present. Encourage rituals of connection such as lighting a candle, marking birthdays, or finding a special way to honour the bond they shared.

For those who are grieving, learning about grief education and theories can provide helpful context for what they are experiencing. Understanding that healing is about adapting rather than accepting can make space for a gentler and more sustainable journey.

Moving forward

Grief changes us, but it does not have to isolate us. By speaking more openly about sibling loss, we can help people feel seen, validated, and supported.

If you are grieving the death of a sibling, know that your relationship mattered deeply and so does your grief. You are not alone in moving forward to navigate this deep loss.

For local grief support and peer groups, please contact Lucy Fraser, MSW, Director of Programs at Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org.

Chilliwack Hospice Society extends heartfelt thanks to volunteer and author Earla Legault for contributing her insights and expertise to this article. Earla is the co-author of Living with Sibling Grief: Imagining a Way Forward and has dedicated her work to raising awareness of sibling bereavement through education, writing, and peer support.

Chilliwack Hospice Society invites community members to join in a time of remembrance and reflection at its annual Memorial Celebration on Tuesday, November 18, 2025, at the Chilliwack Museum and Archives (45820 Spadina Ave.). The event begins at 6 p.m., with doors opening at 5:30 p.m.

Held on the third Tuesday of November, the date coincides with National Grief and Bereavement Day, recognized by the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association and organizations like Chilliwack Hospice Society. The awareness day aims to increase Canadians’ grief literacy and encourage open conversations about grief, loss and support.

The Memorial Celebration offers an opportunity for individuals and families to honour their loved ones, find comfort in community and experience the quiet strength of shared understanding. The event is open to anyone who is grieving — whether the death occurred recently or many years ago.

“Our Memorial Celebration provides a safe and meaningful space for people to come together, honour their loved ones and feel supported by others who understand what they’re going through,” said Sue Knott, Executive Director of Chilliwack Hospice Society. “Moments like this remind us that grief is a shared human experience, and no one needs to face it alone.”

This year’s program features guest speaker Cristal Biela, and a musical performance by singer-songwriter Jennifer Victor. Guests are encouraged to bring a framed photo of their loved one to display during the evening. Light refreshments will be served.

Guest speaker – Cristal Biela, M.A., RCC
Biela is a wife and mother of four adult children who lives on an off-grid homestead. She works as a community health specialist with Fraser Health in Chilliwack, focusing on enhancing resilience and reducing the impact of adverse childhood experiences for children, youth and families. She will share reflections on her personal and professional experiences with grief and how she has found comfort by intentionally weaving moments of joy into her days.

Musical guest – Jennifer Victor
Victor is a Chilliwack-based singer-songwriter who launched her YouTube channel in 2016 and has since reached more than nine million streams on Spotify. She collaborates with musicians worldwide and is passionate about mental-health awareness, using music as a source of comfort and connection.

Guests are asked to RSVP by calling (604) 795-4660. Street parking and elevator access are available. There is no smoking on the premises.

All Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are offered free of cost thanks to the generosity of local donors and businesses.

For more information about memorial events at Chilliwack Hospice Society, please contact Deanna Fedorkew, Community Education Manager, at (604) 795-4660 or deanna@chilliwackhospice.org.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with death and dying through support, education, and programs that provide wellness and healthy grieving.

Special opportunities for rituals and remembrances included the Mother’s Day Memorial on May 9 and the Father’s Day Memorial on June 13. Both events offered safe spaces for those grieving a parent or parent-figure to share memories and find comfort in community. On August 21, Fedorkew, alongside Jennifer Dacre and Kaylee Lovesy, co-facilitated the Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day Memorial, offering a time of reflection for those grieving the loss of a beloved pet or caring for a dying animal. The day included storytelling, expressive arts, and community support.

“Grief touches each of us in different ways, but it is something no one should have to carry alone,” said Fedorkew. “These programs create spaces where people can honour their stories, find comfort, and remember that community can hold us through the hardest seasons.”

Educational opportunities have included advance care planning workshops on July 15 and 17, and September 5 and 8, covering end-of-life care planning, temporary substitute decision makers, representation agreements, and advance directives. On June 19, Planning with Purpose: A Conversation on Death, Dignity and Diverse Traditions was presented in partnership with Tammy Miller of Woodlawn Mt. Cheam Funeral Home, helping participants explore funeral planning, cultural traditions, and essential considerations before and after a death. In September, Planning Ahead: An Introduction to Wills, Enduring Powers of Attorney and Representation Agreements, presented by Aatif Nanji of Simpson Notaries, provided practical guidance on preparing for the future.

New wellness and connection programs were also introduced. Gentle Mat Yoga, led by Emmy Kerr, was offered once weekly outdoors through August, blending movement and mindfulness as a way to nurture body and spirit in grief. Fedorkew also launched Craft and Chat, held the second Friday of every month, creating a welcoming space for participants to connect and process grief through creativity.

Throughout the year Chilliwack Hospice Society hosts a variety of in-person and virtual educational workshops and presentations for the community. Topics may include advance care planning, financial and legal matters, self-care and wellness. Educational workshops are provided for free thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community.

At Cascade Hospice, our skilled palliative care support volunteers offer their time, presence, and empathy to those who are dying and to the families walking alongside them. They provide gentle companionship, a listening ear, and comfort during life’s most difficult moments.

Volunteers are also essential to our grief and bereavement support programs, caregiver support, and Relaxation Program — offering emotional support, wellness practices, and meaningful connection to those navigating loss or caregiving.

We also honour the dedicated volunteers at Thrifty Boutique, our vibrant social enterprise. They sort donations, assist customers, create beautiful displays, and help foster a welcoming shopping experience. Revenue from Thrifty Boutique partially funds all of Chilliwack Hospice Society’s programs and services, helping ensure we can continue to provide compassionate care for all who need it.

All our programs are offered free of cost to adults, youth, and children in Chilliwack, Agassiz, Harrison Hot Springs, and neighbouring Indigenous communities. We accept new volunteer applications year-round at www.chilliwackhospice.org/volunteer. Volunteers supporting patients and clients complete our 35-hour Basic Hospice Training course.

To every volunteer: your kindness brings light, your care brings comfort, and your presence changes lives. Thank you for making waves where they matter most.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

This year’s theme, Remember. Reflect. Connect., encourages us all to:

• Remember those who have died and their impact on our lives.
• Reflect on the ways grief shapes us and fosters resilience.
• Connect with others to find understanding and comfort.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we are dedicated to supporting grieving adults, children, and families. Our programs offer safe spaces to explore emotions, share experiences, and build coping strategies. Professional staff offer guidance through the tangled processes of grief and loss that accompany dying and death. It does not matter when or how the death occurred, or how a person is connected to the death — anyone can benefit from this support. From one-to-one grief support to adult bereavement support groups to specialized child and youth programs, we strive to ensure everyone has access to compassionate care tailored to their unique needs.

Jennifer Dacre, Bereavement Services Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, emphasizes, “Grief is a personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be a solitary one. At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we believe in the power of community to help individuals navigate grief following the death of a loved one. By remembering the ones we’ve loved, reflecting on the lessons they’ve taught us, and connecting with others who share similar experiences, we create pathways to healing. Grief may feel isolating, but reaching out for support can transform that isolation into understanding, connection, and hope.”

Families often face the dual challenge of mourning their loved one’s death while supporting one another. Our resources help families communicate openly about grief, honour their loved ones, and find collective strength in their shared journey. This National Grief and Bereavement Day, we invite individuals and families to seek out community support and resources. Together, we can create a world where every grieving person feels seen, heard, and cared for. Let us “remember, reflect, and connect” to build a compassionate community where grief can be shared and supported.

If you or someone you know is grieving the death of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups, and workshops that are currently being offered. Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are provided free of cost thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow @ChilliwackHospice on Facebook and Instagram.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

One in 14 children in Canada will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the age of 18. Childhood grief may present differently from adult grief. Children may not have the vocabulary or emotional tools to fully express their feelings, leading some adults to assume they’re “doing fine.” However, grief in children is often masked by behavioural changes, changes in academic performance, or physical symptoms like stomach aches and headaches. As caregivers, friends, and community members, we need to recognize these signs and provide spaces where children feel safe to explore and express their emotions.

This is where Chilliwack Hospice Society’s Child and Youth Programs comes into play. We offer specialized support designed to help children navigate their grief journey. By engaging in activities such as art, bibliotherapy, and gaming, we provide kids with creative outlets to express their feelings and ask questions in a way that feels safe and natural to them.

Franceska Hills, Child and Youth Program Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, explains, “Grief in children often looks very different from grief in adults. It’s sometimes described as puddle jumping — children leap in and out of their grief just like they jump in and out of puddles. One moment, they might dive into their emotions, splashing around in their sadness or confusion, and the next, they hop back out, retreating to a space where they can feel safe and steady again. This cycle repeats, allowing them to process their emotions bit by bit. At times, they may appear untouched by the loss, going about their day as if nothing has changed, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. This ebb and flow is a natural part of how they cope and heal. We support children in understanding that whatever they’re feeling is a natural and valid response to the loss of their loved one. Through activities like art, play, and storytelling, we help children give voice to their grief and see that they’re not alone on their journey. Our goal is to walk alongside them, making sure they know they have a safe, compassionate place to return whenever they need to.”

When a child is grieving, it’s essential that adults address their questions and emotions with empathy and understanding. To help adults better support grieving children, the following principles offer practical guidance for addressing children’s questions and emotions about death and loss.

1. What Happened is Called… — Clearly explain what happened using age-appropriate language.
2. It Wasn’t Caused by Them — Reassure them that they did not cause the illness or death.
3. They Can’t Cure It — Help them understand that it’s not something they can fix.
4. They Will Be Cared For — Assure them that their needs will be met.
5. They Can Stay Connected to Their Loved One — Encourage them to remember and feel connected to their loved one through memories and rituals.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day is a reminder that children need our understanding, patience, and commitment to building a supportive network. Chilliwack Hospice Society is dedicated to ensuring that no child in our community should navigate grief alone. Let’s work together to support the children in our lives, letting them know it’s okay to grieve and that we’re here to walk beside them every step of the way.

David Hughes, Child and Youth Program Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, says, “We’re here to help normalize these feelings for children, showing them that mourning is part of love. By validating their grief and encouraging them to express themselves in a way that feels natural, we help them understand that it’s okay to feel sad, confused, angry, or even relieved. Our goal is to provide the tools, support, and safe spaces that let children move through these feelings without judgment or expectation, helping them grow into adults who can carry and honour their love and loss.”

The Child and Youth Program at Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, low-barrier services tailored to meet the diverse needs of grieving youth, including individual and group support, in-school support, family activities, expressive arts, and equine connections. These programs are made possible by the generous contributions of individuals and businesses within our community, and through support of Chilliwack Hospice Society fundraising events and the Thrifty Boutique.

To learn more about our Child and Youth Program or to donate in honour of Children’s Grief Awareness Day, please call (604) 795-4660 or visit our website at www.chilliwackhospice.org

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

A new format of group grief support, a Coffee and Compassion Circle will offer the experience of compassion in a drop-in model. To be facilitated once monthly on Monday afternoons starting at 1:00pm, the circle will offer grievers the opportunity to connect with others who are grieving the death of a loved one, to improve their understanding of the grief process, to ask unanswered questions in a safe, supportive space, and to learn about the free programs and services offered by Chilliwack Hospice Society.

A grief support group dedicated to pet loss will give those who are grieving the death of a beloved pet a safe, non-judgmental space to mourn this meaningful death with others who understand. Discussion topics will include normalizing grief, making room to grieve, self-care, the importance of rituals, and memorializing your pet. The pet loss grief support group will meet once weekly for four consecutive weeks, starting September 11.

For families grieving the death of a grownup or sibling in a child’s life, the Child and Youth Program will be facilitating monthly Family Art Nights to help children and their grownups process their grief through creative expression. The group will offer participants a safe place to connect with other families who are coping with grief and loss and to share their experiences if they choose. Projects will include memory lanterns, pour painting, and Christmas ornaments.

Movement can be very helpful when coping with stress or grief. A new walking group for caregivers will offer mutual support and camaraderie for those who are caring for a dying person while improving overall well-being by walking along the beautiful Vedder Rotary Trail. Strength in Strides: Caregiver’s Journey will meet once weekly for eight weeks, beginning September 11.

First Step Grief Support Group will meet Saturday mornings this Fall beginning October 19. An eight-week closed program at Chilliwack Hospice Society, First Step offers mutual support and socialization for bereaved adults wanting to share the journey into change and renewal. Grief has no timeline. As such, some group members may choose to begin participating in the weeks following the death of their loved one. Others may find themselves open to the benefits of participating in a grief support group years later and are welcome to do so.

“Each grief support group Chilliwack Hospice Society facilitates offers participants validation, comfort, and a chance to feel seen as they navigate significant loss in their lives,” says Executive Director Sue Knott. “While we cannot fix their pain, we can hold space for them and offer care and compassion for the grief journey.”

Throughout the year, in addition to groups, Chilliwack Hospice Society provides one-to-one grief support for children, youth, and adults. Professional staff offer guidance through the tangled processes of grief and loss that accompany dying and death. It does not matter when or how the death occurred, or how a person is connected to the death — anyone can benefit from this support.

If you or someone you know is grieving the death of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups, and workshops that are currently being offered. Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are provided free of cost thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow @ChilliwackHospice on Facebook and Instagram.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

A safe, supportive space for displaced Ukrainians who now call Chilliwack home has been created at Chilliwack Hospice Society. The group will meet monthly to assist those affected by the war to process their complicated grief and losses. One-to-one support is also available by appointment for those participating in the group and those who aren’t comfortable with the group setting. In addition to a grief support group dedicated to these newcomers to Chilliwack, Hospice Society staff will be facilitating three other grief support groups during the winter months.

First Step Grief Support Group begins February 7 and meets weekly for eight weeks. The group is best suited those who have experienced the death of a loved one in the past six months or year; offering mutual support and socialization for bereaved people wanting the share the journey into change and renewal. It is well-established that grief has no timeline. As such, some First Step group members may choose to begin participating weeks following the death of their loved one. In turn, others may find themselves open to the benefits of participating in a grief support group years later.  A Traumatic Loss Support Group will also begin meeting in February with the exact dates to be decided. The content of this group’s meetings is specifically developed for those who have experienced the death of a loved one due to homicide, suicide, drug poisoning, workplace accident, or sudden illness.

Chilliwack Hospice Society recognizes that significant loss isn’t limited to human connections. Beginning February 22, a supportive space will be created for those grieving the death of a beloved pet. The staff-led grief support group will meet once weekly for four weeks and include participation from the Society’s university practicum students. Students of social work, counselling psychology, child and youth care, and other fields offer a wonderful exchange of knowledge and experience for staff, volunteers, clients, and students alike, and will be contributing to grief support groups – First Step, Traumatic Loss, and Grieving the Death of a Pet.

“In addition to our grief support groups, staff and volunteers offer many opportunities for one-to-one support and complementary therapies to assist members of our community through the grieving process,” Lucy Fraser, director of programs, says. “Informal connections with other bereaved individuals and mutual support can be found in our Relaxation Program, Supportive Walking Group, and Gentle Chair Yoga sessions, as well as our many volunteer opportunities.”

As part of the organization’s community outreach and education programs, a new matinée series of ‘Movies That Move You’ will be shown once monthly, starting with Collateral Beauty on January 24. Each movie has been selected for its themes of grief and loss and are suitable for adults’ viewing and discussion. Advance Care Planning workshops have also been well-received by the community and will continue in 2023 with the next two-part session starting February 16. The writing prompts, worksheets, and group discussion help individuals or their parents develop an Advance Care Plan, including indicating one’s beliefs, values, and wishes, Temporary Substitute Decision Maker, Representation Agreement, and Advance Directive.

Exemplifying the real impact Hospice Society programs and services are having on the Chilliwack community, was once again named a finalist for Non-Profit of the Year by the Chilliwack Chamber of Commerce Business Excellence Awards. Also in December, Child & Youth Program Manager Franceska Hills was recognized by Murray Mazda as a ‘Local Community Legend’ and received $2,500 in arts supplies toward the Society’s children’s programs.

“Our staff and volunteers at Chilliwack Hospice Society, with support from our dedicated board of directors, continues to build our programming and expand our outreach efforts; providing heartfelt support to more adults, teens, and children who are dying or grieving,” Executive Director Sue Knott says. “We are incredibly grateful for the continued benevolence of individual donors, sponsors, and grants which enable us to meet the increasing demand for our services from the community.”

If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups and workshops that are currently being offered. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow Chilliwack Hospice Society on Facebook and Instagram.