The holidays don’t have to be perfect

We can feel pressure to create meaningful, joyful celebrations. Yet even when everything appears perfect on the outside, grief may still show up. Allow yourself to be present as you are, without expectations or self-judgment. Some days will feel heavier than others — that’s normal.

Be intentional and open to change

Traditions can bring comfort, but they can also feel painful when someone is missing. Ask yourself: What is the heart of this tradition? Connection? Faith? Memory? Generosity? Consider adapting old routines or creating new ones that reflect where you are now. Meaning can evolve over time.

Practice saying no

Grieving takes emotional, physical, and mental energy. If your schedule feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline invitations or step away from activities that feel too demanding this year. Prioritizing what matters most protects your energy and well-being.

Plan time for yourself

Quiet time, rest, reflection, or simply stepping away from a gathering can make a big difference. Scheduling breaks or building in slower days may help you cope when the season feels busy or emotionally charged.

Reach out for support

Grief can feel isolating, even when surrounded by others. While family and friends may be supportive, you may also benefit from connecting with trained grief support volunteers or professionals. Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, one-to-one grief support as well as group programs. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Make room for both grief and joy

It is common to feel complex emotions: sadness, gratitude, longing, laughter, love. Some people worry that enjoying the holidays means they are “moving on” or forgetting their loved one. Joy does not erase grief. Both feelings can co-exist, and both are valid.

Honour your loved one in meaningful ways

Finding gentle ways to remember your loved one can offer comfort. You might:

• Cook a favourite recipe
• Display a special ornament or keepsake
• Light a candle
• Share stories with people who are comfortable listening
• Create a private ritual just for you

There is no right or wrong way to grieve someone you miss.

You are not alone

The holidays can be tender, painful, meaningful, or bittersweet, sometimes all at once. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the season. Consider visiting us for Celebrate A Life at Minter Country Garden or Thrifty Boutique, attend our Holiday Movie Matinee on December 12, or participating in our Coffee & Compassion Drop-In Grief Support Circle, December 15. You’ll be in good company.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

This year’s theme, Remember. Reflect. Connect., encourages us all to:

• Remember those who have died and their impact on our lives.
• Reflect on the ways grief shapes us and fosters resilience.
• Connect with others to find understanding and comfort.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we are dedicated to supporting grieving adults, children, and families. Our programs offer safe spaces to explore emotions, share experiences, and build coping strategies. Professional staff offer guidance through the tangled processes of grief and loss that accompany dying and death. It does not matter when or how the death occurred, or how a person is connected to the death — anyone can benefit from this support. From one-to-one grief support to adult bereavement support groups to specialized child and youth programs, we strive to ensure everyone has access to compassionate care tailored to their unique needs.

Jennifer Dacre, Bereavement Services Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, emphasizes, “Grief is a personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be a solitary one. At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we believe in the power of community to help individuals navigate grief following the death of a loved one. By remembering the ones we’ve loved, reflecting on the lessons they’ve taught us, and connecting with others who share similar experiences, we create pathways to healing. Grief may feel isolating, but reaching out for support can transform that isolation into understanding, connection, and hope.”

Families often face the dual challenge of mourning their loved one’s death while supporting one another. Our resources help families communicate openly about grief, honour their loved ones, and find collective strength in their shared journey. This National Grief and Bereavement Day, we invite individuals and families to seek out community support and resources. Together, we can create a world where every grieving person feels seen, heard, and cared for. Let us “remember, reflect, and connect” to build a compassionate community where grief can be shared and supported.

If you or someone you know is grieving the death of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups, and workshops that are currently being offered. Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are provided free of cost thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow @ChilliwackHospice on Facebook and Instagram.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

One in 14 children in Canada will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the age of 18. Childhood grief may present differently from adult grief. Children may not have the vocabulary or emotional tools to fully express their feelings, leading some adults to assume they’re “doing fine.” However, grief in children is often masked by behavioural changes, changes in academic performance, or physical symptoms like stomach aches and headaches. As caregivers, friends, and community members, we need to recognize these signs and provide spaces where children feel safe to explore and express their emotions.

This is where Chilliwack Hospice Society’s Child and Youth Programs comes into play. We offer specialized support designed to help children navigate their grief journey. By engaging in activities such as art, bibliotherapy, and gaming, we provide kids with creative outlets to express their feelings and ask questions in a way that feels safe and natural to them.

Franceska Hills, Child and Youth Program Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, explains, “Grief in children often looks very different from grief in adults. It’s sometimes described as puddle jumping — children leap in and out of their grief just like they jump in and out of puddles. One moment, they might dive into their emotions, splashing around in their sadness or confusion, and the next, they hop back out, retreating to a space where they can feel safe and steady again. This cycle repeats, allowing them to process their emotions bit by bit. At times, they may appear untouched by the loss, going about their day as if nothing has changed, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. This ebb and flow is a natural part of how they cope and heal. We support children in understanding that whatever they’re feeling is a natural and valid response to the loss of their loved one. Through activities like art, play, and storytelling, we help children give voice to their grief and see that they’re not alone on their journey. Our goal is to walk alongside them, making sure they know they have a safe, compassionate place to return whenever they need to.”

When a child is grieving, it’s essential that adults address their questions and emotions with empathy and understanding. To help adults better support grieving children, the following principles offer practical guidance for addressing children’s questions and emotions about death and loss.

1. What Happened is Called… — Clearly explain what happened using age-appropriate language.
2. It Wasn’t Caused by Them — Reassure them that they did not cause the illness or death.
3. They Can’t Cure It — Help them understand that it’s not something they can fix.
4. They Will Be Cared For — Assure them that their needs will be met.
5. They Can Stay Connected to Their Loved One — Encourage them to remember and feel connected to their loved one through memories and rituals.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day is a reminder that children need our understanding, patience, and commitment to building a supportive network. Chilliwack Hospice Society is dedicated to ensuring that no child in our community should navigate grief alone. Let’s work together to support the children in our lives, letting them know it’s okay to grieve and that we’re here to walk beside them every step of the way.

David Hughes, Child and Youth Program Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, says, “We’re here to help normalize these feelings for children, showing them that mourning is part of love. By validating their grief and encouraging them to express themselves in a way that feels natural, we help them understand that it’s okay to feel sad, confused, angry, or even relieved. Our goal is to provide the tools, support, and safe spaces that let children move through these feelings without judgment or expectation, helping them grow into adults who can carry and honour their love and loss.”

The Child and Youth Program at Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, low-barrier services tailored to meet the diverse needs of grieving youth, including individual and group support, in-school support, family activities, expressive arts, and equine connections. These programs are made possible by the generous contributions of individuals and businesses within our community, and through support of Chilliwack Hospice Society fundraising events and the Thrifty Boutique.

To learn more about our Child and Youth Program or to donate in honour of Children’s Grief Awareness Day, please call (604) 795-4660 or visit our website at www.chilliwackhospice.org

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

A safe, supportive space for displaced Ukrainians who now call Chilliwack home has been created at Chilliwack Hospice Society. The group will meet monthly to assist those affected by the war to process their complicated grief and losses. One-to-one support is also available by appointment for those participating in the group and those who aren’t comfortable with the group setting. In addition to a grief support group dedicated to these newcomers to Chilliwack, Hospice Society staff will be facilitating three other grief support groups during the winter months.

First Step Grief Support Group begins February 7 and meets weekly for eight weeks. The group is best suited those who have experienced the death of a loved one in the past six months or year; offering mutual support and socialization for bereaved people wanting the share the journey into change and renewal. It is well-established that grief has no timeline. As such, some First Step group members may choose to begin participating weeks following the death of their loved one. In turn, others may find themselves open to the benefits of participating in a grief support group years later.  A Traumatic Loss Support Group will also begin meeting in February with the exact dates to be decided. The content of this group’s meetings is specifically developed for those who have experienced the death of a loved one due to homicide, suicide, drug poisoning, workplace accident, or sudden illness.

Chilliwack Hospice Society recognizes that significant loss isn’t limited to human connections. Beginning February 22, a supportive space will be created for those grieving the death of a beloved pet. The staff-led grief support group will meet once weekly for four weeks and include participation from the Society’s university practicum students. Students of social work, counselling psychology, child and youth care, and other fields offer a wonderful exchange of knowledge and experience for staff, volunteers, clients, and students alike, and will be contributing to grief support groups – First Step, Traumatic Loss, and Grieving the Death of a Pet.

“In addition to our grief support groups, staff and volunteers offer many opportunities for one-to-one support and complementary therapies to assist members of our community through the grieving process,” Lucy Fraser, director of programs, says. “Informal connections with other bereaved individuals and mutual support can be found in our Relaxation Program, Supportive Walking Group, and Gentle Chair Yoga sessions, as well as our many volunteer opportunities.”

As part of the organization’s community outreach and education programs, a new matinée series of ‘Movies That Move You’ will be shown once monthly, starting with Collateral Beauty on January 24. Each movie has been selected for its themes of grief and loss and are suitable for adults’ viewing and discussion. Advance Care Planning workshops have also been well-received by the community and will continue in 2023 with the next two-part session starting February 16. The writing prompts, worksheets, and group discussion help individuals or their parents develop an Advance Care Plan, including indicating one’s beliefs, values, and wishes, Temporary Substitute Decision Maker, Representation Agreement, and Advance Directive.

Exemplifying the real impact Hospice Society programs and services are having on the Chilliwack community, was once again named a finalist for Non-Profit of the Year by the Chilliwack Chamber of Commerce Business Excellence Awards. Also in December, Child & Youth Program Manager Franceska Hills was recognized by Murray Mazda as a ‘Local Community Legend’ and received $2,500 in arts supplies toward the Society’s children’s programs.

“Our staff and volunteers at Chilliwack Hospice Society, with support from our dedicated board of directors, continues to build our programming and expand our outreach efforts; providing heartfelt support to more adults, teens, and children who are dying or grieving,” Executive Director Sue Knott says. “We are incredibly grateful for the continued benevolence of individual donors, sponsors, and grants which enable us to meet the increasing demand for our services from the community.”

If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups and workshops that are currently being offered. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow Chilliwack Hospice Society on Facebook and Instagram.

While a supportive walking group had been held at Townsend Park when the Society was in downtown Chilliwack in years past, the program had not been held recently.  In January 2020 Laurie McNaught, manager of community outreach, borrowed the idea from former program manager Coletta Holmes, to begin a small supportive walking group.  The group faced several challenges during the early start-up months with the many COVID-19 restrictions but eventually managed to establish a regular walking program.  The importance of this outdoor group became very apparent when many of the other in-person group programing was not available due to COVID-19.

One group participant says, “Sometimes this [walking group] has been the only time I was able to get out of the house to be with others. I feel like the other participants understand this. This walk is a highlight of my week.”

Many members of the group have experienced the death of a loved one during the COVID-19 pandemic and have shared their mutual frustrations over not being able to gather with family members, hold a funeral or honour the deceased in traditional ways.

“When a new person joins the group, there will sometimes be a lot of tears during our walk,” says McNaught. “The volunteers are so amazing, as they listen and walk beside those who are struggling in these early days of grief. Then as the weeks go by, I notice that the conversations change to chats about life and challenges, weather, even plans for future events, and some good laughs.”

Participants are encouraged to share as little or as much as they feel comfortable about their grief. Knowing that others walking alongside are also suffering a significant loss can be of great comfort. Volunteers offer familiar, consistent smiles each week, though participants are welcome to drop-in anytime to join the walk. Bereavement clients are often referred to the walking group which complements other Hospice programs well.

Fresh air and movement can be healing for those who are grieving. The park is continually changing and so full of nature, life, and things to experience. Often observed are herons, an eagle, several kinds of ducks, Canada geese, and many songbirds. Despite seasonal changes, the Supportive Walking Group has continued through 2021 and into the current year undeterred by rain and snow. Sardis Park offers a warm, safe, and beautiful setting to share and listen to others as the lives of the bereaved grow around their grief.

A group member says, “Even though it is a short walk I am sure all the participants benefit from the walk. It allows them to share the things they do.” Another one says, “The comfort of knowing this community gathering is there for me every week is something that gives me a sense of belonging. I know my grief is welcome and it matters.”

The weekly walk begins and ends at the Chilliwack Hospice Society and, when restrictions allow, include time for a complimentary coffee and further conversation in the group programming space indoors following the walk.

Our Supportive Walking Group meets weekly on Thursdays mornings at 9:30am, starting at 7112 Vedder Road. For more information about this and other community outreach programs, contact Laurie McNaught at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org

The program curriculum included:

• defining types of grief, factors that affect the grieving process, and what may be helpful when someone is grieving
• practicing active listening and interpersonal communication skills
• learning about different personal values, attitudes and beliefs about death, dying, grief and loss from guest speakers representing Stó:lō and Buddhist backgrounds
• understanding the differences in the cognitive development of children, teens, and adults
• discussing setting and maintaining healthy boundaries as a support person
• best practices for social media use when a peer is grieving a death of someone they love
• volunteer training for facilitating grief support groups for children and youth

Participants also learned about the resources available to them in the community, including the programs and services at Chilliwack Hospice Society, and discussed how they might refer a bereaved classmate for additional support.

Practicum students Caitlin Lidster and Chloe Amos contributed to the weekly discussions offering insights from their experiences.

“I had the wonderful opportunity to participate in the Chilliwack Hospice Society’s Teen group this year as a practicum student. It was amazing to learn and participate alongside the teens during the six sessions together, and I enjoyed listening to all their contributions and thoughtful ideas that they had surrounding the topic of grief. I think that having this group is so important especially for high school aged students. Learning how to provide support for a grieving friend or classmate can make a huge difference in their lives and how they experience grief. Having this group provides the resources for teens to learn more about grief as a whole, and about the different supports and resources that are available to those experiencing grief.” — Chloe Amos

Students also gave their own brief presentations, participated in journaling exercises, games and activities to gain further understanding.

All participants received a certificate recognizing their successful completion of our Teen Grief Peer Support Training and were credited with work experience hours for their high school graduation requirements. We anticipate facilitating another Teen Grief Peer Support Training course in the spring with new students.

If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups and workshops that are currently being offered. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

Chilliwack Hospice Society child and youth programs manager Franceska “Franny” Hills began visiting students at Vedder Middle School last Spring to talk about their experiences with the death of a caregiver and their unique grieving process. Complementing existing supports in the school system, Chilliwack Hospice Society was able to provide one-to-one sessions for those students within their school schedule over several weeks, free of charge.

Following this positive experience, Hills began introducing herself to administration and counsellors at other schools in the Chilliwack district and is now receiving referrals for students at the elementary, middle, and high school level. Many of these students are grieving the loss of a parent or caregiver; others are grieving the death of a beloved pet, sibling or friend.

“Being present in the schools shows children and youth there is another adult that genuinely cares about their well-being,” says Hills. “Chilliwack Hospice Society services are provided in a safe, confidential space, and offered purely for their benefit.”

Meeting children and youth where they’re at reduces many of the barriers families have accessing grief support such as transportation, finances, and busy schedules with competing priorities. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Chilliwack Hospice Society has changed the way many of its programs and services are delivered, including virtual grief support groups. Facilitating one-to-one grief support sessions in a student’s school rather than requiring them to attend the Society’s office is another example of how the local non-profit has pivoted to fulfill the needs of bereaved individuals in the Chilliwack community.

“We believe no one should have to grieve alone or without support,” says Sue Knott, Executive Director at Chilliwack Hospice Society. “As our organization continues to evolve, we have seen delivering grief support services in the schools bring hope to families who really need it.”

Hills has been invited to speak to classes about death and dying, bereavement and the supports that are available to children and youth who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Next year she is also planning to facilitate small grief support groups for primary and intermediate students, with permission from their caregivers, who have been identified by school staff as requiring additional support.

Grief is a natural reaction to death. It is the normal process that a person experiences after, or in anticipation of, the death of a loved one. Children and youth express grief and loss differently from adults and may have varying responses in different domains; for example, academic, behavioral, emotional, social, and physical. They might find themselves feeling numb and removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular activities while saddled with their sense of loss. Alternatively, they may not fully experience the felt sense of their loss and carry on with daily life, only for their grief to surface at a later, undetermined time. The type of support that children and youth receive during their bereavement can impact their health, social relationships, and future success in life endeavors.

If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups and workshops that are currently being offered. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate