Although this tragedy occurred outside our community, we recognize that news of a school shooting can affect people deeply, including children, youth and adults here at home. Events like this can bring forward fear, grief, anger and confusion. These reactions are natural. It is important that we speak openly, listen with care, and make space for one another’s feelings.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we walk alongside individuals and families who are grieving the death of someone they love. In moments of sudden and traumatic death, compassionate, steady support matters. We encourage families to check in with one another, to have age-appropriate conversations with children, and to reassure them about their safety while acknowledging the reality of what has happened.

If you or someone you know needs additional support, the following resources are available:

• 310-Mental Health Support: 310-6789 (no area code required in B.C.)
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868
• Foundry BC: FoundryBC.ca

In times of tragedy, communities show their strength through compassion, presence and care. We stand in solidarity with the people of Tumbler Ridge and hold space for all who are grieving, injured or impacted by this horrific act.

The holidays don’t have to be perfect

We can feel pressure to create meaningful, joyful celebrations. Yet even when everything appears perfect on the outside, grief may still show up. Allow yourself to be present as you are, without expectations or self-judgment. Some days will feel heavier than others — that’s normal.

Be intentional and open to change

Traditions can bring comfort, but they can also feel painful when someone is missing. Ask yourself: What is the heart of this tradition? Connection? Faith? Memory? Generosity? Consider adapting old routines or creating new ones that reflect where you are now. Meaning can evolve over time.

Practice saying no

Grieving takes emotional, physical, and mental energy. If your schedule feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline invitations or step away from activities that feel too demanding this year. Prioritizing what matters most protects your energy and well-being.

Plan time for yourself

Quiet time, rest, reflection, or simply stepping away from a gathering can make a big difference. Scheduling breaks or building in slower days may help you cope when the season feels busy or emotionally charged.

Reach out for support

Grief can feel isolating, even when surrounded by others. While family and friends may be supportive, you may also benefit from connecting with trained grief support volunteers or professionals. Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, one-to-one grief support as well as group programs. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Make room for both grief and joy

It is common to feel complex emotions: sadness, gratitude, longing, laughter, love. Some people worry that enjoying the holidays means they are “moving on” or forgetting their loved one. Joy does not erase grief. Both feelings can co-exist, and both are valid.

Honour your loved one in meaningful ways

Finding gentle ways to remember your loved one can offer comfort. You might:

• Cook a favourite recipe
• Display a special ornament or keepsake
• Light a candle
• Share stories with people who are comfortable listening
• Create a private ritual just for you

There is no right or wrong way to grieve someone you miss.

You are not alone

The holidays can be tender, painful, meaningful, or bittersweet, sometimes all at once. Be gentle with yourself as you move through the season. Consider visiting us for Celebrate A Life at Minter Country Garden or Thrifty Boutique, attend our Holiday Movie Matinee on December 12, or participating in our Coffee & Compassion Drop-In Grief Support Circle, December 15. You’ll be in good company.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

Sibling grief is one form of disenfranchised grief, the kind of grief that society too often fails to acknowledge or validate. Siblings are sometimes called “the forgotten mourners,” as their loss can be overshadowed by attention given to parents, partners, or children of the deceased. But the bond between siblings is one of the most significant and enduring relationships in life and the grief that comes from its loss can last a lifetime.

“Sibling grief is one of the least acknowledged forms of grief, despite siblings often being our longest and most formative relationships. Greater awareness through publications and social media in the realm of grief education and the need for establishing peer grief groups are essential supports needed for navigating a sibling’s unique and enduring bereavement.”
— Earla Legault, co-author of Living with Sibling Grief: Imagining a Way Forward, and Chilliwack Hospice Society volunteer

Earla Legault

Why sibling grief matters

From childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, sibling relationships help shape our sense of identity. They are our first companions and rivals, our teachers and protectors, and the people who know our history from the beginning. Many siblings share decades of life together, often more time than with anyone else. Research has shown that siblings spend up to a third of their early years together, more than with parents, teachers, or friends.

Despite the closeness of this bond, the grief that follows a sibling’s death is rarely recognized for its depth or duration. Our culture tends to give less acknowledgement to sibling relationships, even though they are nearly universal and profoundly formative. When a sibling dies, it can feel as though part of one’s own identity is gone — a missing chapter in the story of one’s life.

What sibling grievers wish others knew

There is no hierarchy in grief. While the death of a sibling may be viewed by some as “lesser” than other losses, the pain can be immense. Many adults assume their brothers or sisters will always be there, a steady presence through milestones and change. When that expectation is suddenly broken, the result can be deep sorrow, disorientation, and even guilt for surviving.

Siblings who are grieving often need to self-advocate for their emotional needs. At home, in friendships, and at work, they may find themselves setting boundaries or seeking understanding in environments where their loss is not easily recognized. Taking time for rest, creative expression, or quiet reflection can help create space for healing.

How to support someone grieving a sibling

Support begins with simple acknowledgement. Recognize that the death of a sibling leaves a lifelong impact — it’s not something to “get over” or “move on from.” Grief doesn’t end; it changes shape over time.

Offering empathy rather than advice is one of the most meaningful ways to help. Invite your friend or colleague to talk about their sibling, share stories, or find ways to keep their memory present. Encourage rituals of connection such as lighting a candle, marking birthdays, or finding a special way to honour the bond they shared.

For those who are grieving, learning about grief education and theories can provide helpful context for what they are experiencing. Understanding that healing is about adapting rather than accepting can make space for a gentler and more sustainable journey.

Moving forward

Grief changes us, but it does not have to isolate us. By speaking more openly about sibling loss, we can help people feel seen, validated, and supported.

If you are grieving the death of a sibling, know that your relationship mattered deeply and so does your grief. You are not alone in moving forward to navigate this deep loss.

For local grief support and peer groups, please contact Lucy Fraser, MSW, Director of Programs at Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org.

Chilliwack Hospice Society extends heartfelt thanks to volunteer and author Earla Legault for contributing her insights and expertise to this article. Earla is the co-author of Living with Sibling Grief: Imagining a Way Forward and has dedicated her work to raising awareness of sibling bereavement through education, writing, and peer support.

Chilliwack Hospice Society invites community members to join in a time of remembrance and reflection at its annual Memorial Celebration on Tuesday, November 18, 2025, at the Chilliwack Museum and Archives (45820 Spadina Ave.). The event begins at 6 p.m., with doors opening at 5:30 p.m.

Held on the third Tuesday of November, the date coincides with National Grief and Bereavement Day, recognized by the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association and organizations like Chilliwack Hospice Society. The awareness day aims to increase Canadians’ grief literacy and encourage open conversations about grief, loss and support.

The Memorial Celebration offers an opportunity for individuals and families to honour their loved ones, find comfort in community and experience the quiet strength of shared understanding. The event is open to anyone who is grieving — whether the death occurred recently or many years ago.

“Our Memorial Celebration provides a safe and meaningful space for people to come together, honour their loved ones and feel supported by others who understand what they’re going through,” said Sue Knott, Executive Director of Chilliwack Hospice Society. “Moments like this remind us that grief is a shared human experience, and no one needs to face it alone.”

This year’s program features guest speaker Cristal Biela, and a musical performance by singer-songwriter Jennifer Victor. Guests are encouraged to bring a framed photo of their loved one to display during the evening. Light refreshments will be served.

Guest speaker – Cristal Biela, M.A., RCC
Biela is a wife and mother of four adult children who lives on an off-grid homestead. She works as a community health specialist with Fraser Health in Chilliwack, focusing on enhancing resilience and reducing the impact of adverse childhood experiences for children, youth and families. She will share reflections on her personal and professional experiences with grief and how she has found comfort by intentionally weaving moments of joy into her days.

Musical guest – Jennifer Victor
Victor is a Chilliwack-based singer-songwriter who launched her YouTube channel in 2016 and has since reached more than nine million streams on Spotify. She collaborates with musicians worldwide and is passionate about mental-health awareness, using music as a source of comfort and connection.

Guests are asked to RSVP by calling (604) 795-4660. Street parking and elevator access are available. There is no smoking on the premises.

All Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are offered free of cost thanks to the generosity of local donors and businesses.

For more information about memorial events at Chilliwack Hospice Society, please contact Deanna Fedorkew, Community Education Manager, at (604) 795-4660 or deanna@chilliwackhospice.org.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with death and dying through support, education, and programs that provide wellness and healthy grieving.

Special opportunities for rituals and remembrances included the Mother’s Day Memorial on May 9 and the Father’s Day Memorial on June 13. Both events offered safe spaces for those grieving a parent or parent-figure to share memories and find comfort in community. On August 21, Fedorkew, alongside Jennifer Dacre and Kaylee Lovesy, co-facilitated the Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day Memorial, offering a time of reflection for those grieving the loss of a beloved pet or caring for a dying animal. The day included storytelling, expressive arts, and community support.

“Grief touches each of us in different ways, but it is something no one should have to carry alone,” said Fedorkew. “These programs create spaces where people can honour their stories, find comfort, and remember that community can hold us through the hardest seasons.”

Educational opportunities have included advance care planning workshops on July 15 and 17, and September 5 and 8, covering end-of-life care planning, temporary substitute decision makers, representation agreements, and advance directives. On June 19, Planning with Purpose: A Conversation on Death, Dignity and Diverse Traditions was presented in partnership with Tammy Miller of Woodlawn Mt. Cheam Funeral Home, helping participants explore funeral planning, cultural traditions, and essential considerations before and after a death. In September, Planning Ahead: An Introduction to Wills, Enduring Powers of Attorney and Representation Agreements, presented by Aatif Nanji of Simpson Notaries, provided practical guidance on preparing for the future.

New wellness and connection programs were also introduced. Gentle Mat Yoga, led by Emmy Kerr, was offered once weekly outdoors through August, blending movement and mindfulness as a way to nurture body and spirit in grief. Fedorkew also launched Craft and Chat, held the second Friday of every month, creating a welcoming space for participants to connect and process grief through creativity.

Throughout the year Chilliwack Hospice Society hosts a variety of in-person and virtual educational workshops and presentations for the community. Topics may include advance care planning, financial and legal matters, self-care and wellness. Educational workshops are provided for free thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community.

At Cascade Hospice, our skilled palliative care support volunteers offer their time, presence, and empathy to those who are dying and to the families walking alongside them. They provide gentle companionship, a listening ear, and comfort during life’s most difficult moments.

Volunteers are also essential to our grief and bereavement support programs, caregiver support, and Relaxation Program — offering emotional support, wellness practices, and meaningful connection to those navigating loss or caregiving.

We also honour the dedicated volunteers at Thrifty Boutique, our vibrant social enterprise. They sort donations, assist customers, create beautiful displays, and help foster a welcoming shopping experience. Revenue from Thrifty Boutique partially funds all of Chilliwack Hospice Society’s programs and services, helping ensure we can continue to provide compassionate care for all who need it.

All our programs are offered free of cost to adults, youth, and children in Chilliwack, Agassiz, Harrison Hot Springs, and neighbouring Indigenous communities. We accept new volunteer applications year-round at www.chilliwackhospice.org/volunteer. Volunteers supporting patients and clients complete our 35-hour Basic Hospice Training course.

To every volunteer: your kindness brings light, your care brings comfort, and your presence changes lives. Thank you for making waves where they matter most.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is thrilled to welcome Volodymyr Ivashyna as our new receptionist. Volodymyr joins us with a rich professional background, a deep commitment to community service, and an inspiring personal journey as a newcomer to Canada.

Originally from Ukraine, Volodymyr has been in Canada for just over a year and a half. His experiences of moving to a new country and navigating cultural and linguistic differences have given him a profound appreciation for inclusion, diversity, and the strength that comes from building connections across communities. Despite the challenges of starting fresh in a new country, Volodymyr quickly embraced Canadian culture while sharing elements of his Ukrainian heritage, including cooking traditional dishes like borscht and participating in community celebrations.

“Moving to Canada was life-changing,” Volodymyr shares. “The kindness and support I’ve received from people in Chilliwack has been incredible. It’s a privilege to now give back to the community in a meaningful way.”

Volodymyr holds a Master’s degree in Environmental Protection from Sumy State University in Sumy, Ukraine and a diploma in Foreign Economic Activities Management from Dnipro National University by Olesia Honchara in Dnipro, Ukraine. His career has spanned ecological engineering, teaching, and media, demonstrating his adaptability and dedication to lifelong learning. As the first, friendly face visitors see when they arrive at our office, Volodymyr will be instrumental in creating a welcoming environment for all. From greeting clients and answering inquiries to supporting the daily operations of our office, his role is essential in ensuring that everyone feels seen, heard, and cared for when they visit Chilliwack Hospice Society.

“What excites me about working at the Society is the chance to combine my skills with my passion for supporting others during difficult times,” says Volodymyr. “This organization represents compassion and community, values that resonate deeply with me as someone who has experienced the power of connection and inclusion firsthand.”

Volodymyr’s journey as a newcomer to Canada enriches our organization’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. His unique perspective enhances our ability to serve a community that is itself diverse and growing. His warm personality, empathy, and enthusiasm for helping others align perfectly with our mission to support individuals and families dealing with death, dying, and grief.

We are proud to have Volodymyr on our team and look forward to the invaluable contributions he will make as we continue to provide compassionate care and support to those we serve.

The Bridge: A Symbol of Connection and Healing

The new logo features the graceful arcs of a bridge—a meaningful symbol of connection, resilience, and transformation.

• The lower arc, solid and enduring, represents the foundation we provide—strong, unwavering, and built to support the weight of grief and transition. This symbolizes the breadth of resources and services we offer, from grief counselling to community education to palliative care support.
• The upper arc, composed of lighter segments, mirrors the unique, personal paths of those we serve. Grief is never linear; it takes unexpected turns and evolves over time. These arcs reflect each client’s journey and the compassionate care they receive as they move through grief and loss.
• The parallel paths of the arcs illustrate how Chilliwack Hospice Society walks alongside its clients; ensuring our support and resources align with their individual needs at every step. This relationship creates a safe, supportive space where clients can find the strength and solace they need.

“Our logo reflects who we are and what we do; creating connections and providing steady support during some of life’s most difficult moments,” says Sue Knott, Executive Director of Chilliwack Hospice Society. “The bridge isn’t just a symbol; it represents the journey we take together.”

Centred on Grief and Hospice Palliative Care Support

This rebrand emphasizes the Society’s focus on grief support while continuing its long-standing hospice palliative care support programs. With the addition of “Centre for Grief Support” to our name, we make our purpose unmistakably clear. We are here for the Chilliwack community, offering a safe space and tailored support for adults, children, and youth coping with grief and loss. Services are available in the hospice, hospital, care facilities, and in people’s homes, ensuring dignity and care at every stage of life.

A Palette and Typeface for Calm and Clarity

The new colour palette features teal as its primary colour, a calming mix of blue and green that symbolizes hope, balance, and peace. Mint green complements this foundation with its soft, refreshing tones, representing growth and healing. Together, these colours create a sense of tranquility and renewal that aligns with the Society’s mission.

The DM Sans font is approachable, modern, and easy-to-read, reflecting our dedication to accessibility for all ages. Its clean and confident lines speak to our professional, compassionate approach while remaining welcoming and warm—a perfect complement to the stories of resilience and care our organization represents.

A New Look for the Thrifty Boutique

As part of the rebrand, the Chilliwack Hospice Society’s Thrifty Boutique is also unveiling a complementary new look. This refreshed design aligns with the Society’s updated branding and reflects the elevated thrifting experience that shoppers have come to expect. The boutique continues to play a vital role in supporting the Society’s programs and services through community generosity.

A Local Collaboration

The new look was brought to life in collaboration with local graphic artist Camilla Coates of Ergo Design Group. Her thoughtful and creative approach helped ensure the updated branding truly reflects the mission and values of Chilliwack Hospice Society.

Growing Together

This revitalized look is part of our broader strategy to reach more people, raise awareness about our services, and ensure inclusivity for all who seek our help. Our brand reflects not only who we are today but also where we are headed—toward a future where no one in our community faces grief or the end of life alone.

“This rebrand isn’t just about a new look; it’s about ensuring that everyone in Chilliwack knows they are not alone,” says Sue Knott. “Whether you’re grieving a death or navigating end-of-life care, we’re here to help.”

Sharing the Message

The bridge in our logo is not only symbolic but also a call to action. We invite you to cross that bridge, whether by accessing our services, sharing our message, or supporting our work. Together, we can foster a community where compassion, understanding, and healing flow freely, helping everyone navigate the challenges of grief and end-of-life with dignity and care.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is here for you, every step of the way. Let’s walk this path together.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

This year’s theme, Remember. Reflect. Connect., encourages us all to:

• Remember those who have died and their impact on our lives.
• Reflect on the ways grief shapes us and fosters resilience.
• Connect with others to find understanding and comfort.

At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we are dedicated to supporting grieving adults, children, and families. Our programs offer safe spaces to explore emotions, share experiences, and build coping strategies. Professional staff offer guidance through the tangled processes of grief and loss that accompany dying and death. It does not matter when or how the death occurred, or how a person is connected to the death — anyone can benefit from this support. From one-to-one grief support to adult bereavement support groups to specialized child and youth programs, we strive to ensure everyone has access to compassionate care tailored to their unique needs.

Jennifer Dacre, Bereavement Services Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, emphasizes, “Grief is a personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be a solitary one. At Chilliwack Hospice Society, we believe in the power of community to help individuals navigate grief following the death of a loved one. By remembering the ones we’ve loved, reflecting on the lessons they’ve taught us, and connecting with others who share similar experiences, we create pathways to healing. Grief may feel isolating, but reaching out for support can transform that isolation into understanding, connection, and hope.”

Families often face the dual challenge of mourning their loved one’s death while supporting one another. Our resources help families communicate openly about grief, honour their loved ones, and find collective strength in their shared journey. This National Grief and Bereavement Day, we invite individuals and families to seek out community support and resources. Together, we can create a world where every grieving person feels seen, heard, and cared for. Let us “remember, reflect, and connect” to build a compassionate community where grief can be shared and supported.

If you or someone you know is grieving the death of a loved one right now, call Chilliwack Hospice Society at (604) 795-4660 or visit www.chilliwackhospice.org to learn more about the one-to-one support, groups, and workshops that are currently being offered. Chilliwack Hospice Society programs and services are provided free of cost thanks to the generosity of individual donors and businesses in our community. Donations are always gratefully accepted at the Thrifty Boutique and online at www.chilliwackhospice.org/donate

For more information, news, and events, join our email newsletter list or follow @ChilliwackHospice on Facebook and Instagram.

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.

One in 14 children in Canada will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the age of 18. Childhood grief may present differently from adult grief. Children may not have the vocabulary or emotional tools to fully express their feelings, leading some adults to assume they’re “doing fine.” However, grief in children is often masked by behavioural changes, changes in academic performance, or physical symptoms like stomach aches and headaches. As caregivers, friends, and community members, we need to recognize these signs and provide spaces where children feel safe to explore and express their emotions.

This is where Chilliwack Hospice Society’s Child and Youth Programs comes into play. We offer specialized support designed to help children navigate their grief journey. By engaging in activities such as art, bibliotherapy, and gaming, we provide kids with creative outlets to express their feelings and ask questions in a way that feels safe and natural to them.

Franceska Hills, Child and Youth Program Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, explains, “Grief in children often looks very different from grief in adults. It’s sometimes described as puddle jumping — children leap in and out of their grief just like they jump in and out of puddles. One moment, they might dive into their emotions, splashing around in their sadness or confusion, and the next, they hop back out, retreating to a space where they can feel safe and steady again. This cycle repeats, allowing them to process their emotions bit by bit. At times, they may appear untouched by the loss, going about their day as if nothing has changed, only to be suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. This ebb and flow is a natural part of how they cope and heal. We support children in understanding that whatever they’re feeling is a natural and valid response to the loss of their loved one. Through activities like art, play, and storytelling, we help children give voice to their grief and see that they’re not alone on their journey. Our goal is to walk alongside them, making sure they know they have a safe, compassionate place to return whenever they need to.”

When a child is grieving, it’s essential that adults address their questions and emotions with empathy and understanding. To help adults better support grieving children, the following principles offer practical guidance for addressing children’s questions and emotions about death and loss.

1. What Happened is Called… — Clearly explain what happened using age-appropriate language.
2. It Wasn’t Caused by Them — Reassure them that they did not cause the illness or death.
3. They Can’t Cure It — Help them understand that it’s not something they can fix.
4. They Will Be Cared For — Assure them that their needs will be met.
5. They Can Stay Connected to Their Loved One — Encourage them to remember and feel connected to their loved one through memories and rituals.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day is a reminder that children need our understanding, patience, and commitment to building a supportive network. Chilliwack Hospice Society is dedicated to ensuring that no child in our community should navigate grief alone. Let’s work together to support the children in our lives, letting them know it’s okay to grieve and that we’re here to walk beside them every step of the way.

David Hughes, Child and Youth Program Manager at Chilliwack Hospice Society, says, “We’re here to help normalize these feelings for children, showing them that mourning is part of love. By validating their grief and encouraging them to express themselves in a way that feels natural, we help them understand that it’s okay to feel sad, confused, angry, or even relieved. Our goal is to provide the tools, support, and safe spaces that let children move through these feelings without judgment or expectation, helping them grow into adults who can carry and honour their love and loss.”

The Child and Youth Program at Chilliwack Hospice Society offers free, low-barrier services tailored to meet the diverse needs of grieving youth, including individual and group support, in-school support, family activities, expressive arts, and equine connections. These programs are made possible by the generous contributions of individuals and businesses within our community, and through support of Chilliwack Hospice Society fundraising events and the Thrifty Boutique.

To learn more about our Child and Youth Program or to donate in honour of Children’s Grief Awareness Day, please call (604) 795-4660 or visit our website at www.chilliwackhospice.org

Chilliwack Hospice Society is a community-based organization that helps individuals and families dealing with dying and death through support, education, and programs that promote wellness and healthy grieving.